Seraphim
by TenkunoMeiou
Summary: Roxas, Riku and Sora had a friendship that no one could break. But then Roxas did something they could never forget. Now Riku feels Sora is the only one he has left, and will stop at nothing to protect him. Whether Sora wants it or not.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**Summary:** Roxas, Riku and Sora had a friendship that no one could break. But then Roxas did something they could never forget. Now Riku feels Sora is the only one he has left, and will stop at nothing to protect him. Whether Sora wants it or not.

**Xx WARNING xX:** 1. In this story there is many a much violence and blood. If that isn't you're cup of tea, please click the x button in the right hand corner of you're screen.

2. Many sick and twisted things that go on in a persons mind.

3. There is talk of religion. If that makes you uncomfortable. Don't read.

4. Last off, People who are offended by same gender love, click out. Also people who like same gender pairings I should warn you, it isn't a cup of rainbows here.

**A/N:** I have done my research. That's all I'm saying. Dedicated to Billy-Joe.

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**Seraphim: Prologue**

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**A Seraph, or in Hewbrew Seraphim, is one of a class of celestial beings mentioned once in the Old Teastament, in the book of Isaiah. Later Jewish imagery perceived them as having human form, and in that way they passed into the ranks of Christian angels. It is the highest rank of angels. 

This leads many scholars to believe that Lucifer had been a Seraphim.

You all know the story of the great and beautiful angel.

He became curupt and decided to take things into his own hands. But with this choice led him to lose everything, and to be tossed down from heaven by God.

Becoming known forever as the fallen angel.

-SsS-

His head buzzed softly.

He was laying on something soft, and he was warm. But he was outside, that much he could tell.

He couldn't hear anything. It was as if someone had shoved mounds of cotton into his ears, and now he could only hear muffled sounds. He opened his eyes slowly, immediately regretting the action when his head pounded painfully as red and blue lights flashed. He tried to cover his eyes with his hand, but soon found that he couldn't move any of his limbs. It was as if they were being held down by extreme amounts of weight.

He cried out. Scared.

He then felt a cold hand rest softly on his cheek, then run it's way over to his forehead. He forcefully opened his eyes, against his heads protest, and looked around best he could from his confined position. Things were blurry at first all he could see were colors that blended together. But slowly they formed into shapes and then into people looking down at him with concern and…pity? What was happing? He started to panic and tried to sit up again, but he was once again held down. By what? He jerked his head and craned his neck in a painful way to get a look. The people were holding him down.

He let out another cry. This one more of distress.

The cold hand came back to his forehead and smoothed his hair out of his face. He could see one of the people mouthing words as she gazed down at him. Her brown eyebrows were furrowed in concern. She looked like she was cooing a child. He was getting his hearing back slowly. He could hear bits and pieces of conversation.

"He has no fever…"

Who?

"He lost a lot of blood when he hit the sidewalk…"

Who?

"It's a shame the other didn't make it…and so young…"

Who?

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw their lights flashing red and then blue.

Medics?

Cops?

Why were they all here?

He narrowed his eyes in concentration, but only managed to give himself a harsher headache.

What was going on!

He tried to voice his questions but his mouth was so dry, all that came out was what sounded like a strangled cry. Tears started to come to his eyes. His eyes shifted to the other side where he saw the Baymount Bridge that stood over the islands man made river. That bridge was one of their favorite places to hang out after school. Sora would carelessly try to balance on the stone railing while Roxas and him would lean against it acting like they didn't care but were tensed and ready to lunge if he ever slipped. In fact, him and Roxas has been there just ealier tonight…Yes, they had planned to meet there too…

Oh god.

_"Don't worry. They don't hurt, he told me they just freeze up your muscles." The blonde spiky haired boy said as if he were talking about something as simple as the weather as he slipped five stark white pills into the other boy's hand. The other boy huffed slightly, "I'm not worried. Not at all." His hands were shaking, but he could always blame it on the clod. _

Roxas nodded slightly, not really believing his friends words and looked off into the distance with a longing look on his face. He gazed at his friend for a moment. His pale cream like skin was a sharp contrast to his bright blue eyes. His blonde spikes were being tossed softly by the nights wind. He had to admit, the boy looked almost angelic.

"How long does it take before it takes effect?"

Roxas brought his gaze back to the other and smiled grimly.

"Only a few minutes. Kind of like Advil."

He nodded to the information and glanced down at the small little pills in his hand. Amazing what power three little pills had. He sighed as he clenched them in his hand tightly and leaned over the railing slightly. The water was dark and murky tonight, making it look like it was bottomless. "Why again?" He didn't look up as he asked, but he could tell Roxas was raising an eyebrow at him. "Because it's painless, and when you look at it. It's a very beautiful dea-"

"No. That's not what I meant." He took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly as he stared at the water more intently. " I mean, why are we doing this in the first place again?"

He could feel Roxas's glare on him.

"Because we both love who we can't have."

His heart clenched painfully.

Yes, that right. The blue eyed brunette and auburn haired girl were together. He hadn't even told Riku that he had more than friendly feelings towards the girl, and the only way Roxas had known something about the whole ordeal was because his friend Namine was friends with the girl. So, it came as a shock when Sora plopped himself down next to the two at lunch and declared that he had a girlfriend. Now, to be fair to Sora. The only one who new of Riku's feelings had been Roxas, and vice versa. So he really couldn't be mad at Sora. But it had hurt so much. It was two days later Roxas had called him and asked him that question he'll never forget, "How much does it hurt?" He had broken down on the phone that night. Just crying all his heartache to his smaller blonde friend, and Roxas was quiet and listened the whole time. It was after he had spilled out everything did Roxas suggest the idea to him. At first he had yelled at Roxas for even thinking of the idea. But the more he thought about it, the more he found himself favoring the idea.

So that's how he found himself and his friend leaning against the Baymount Bridge railing at 11:17 p.m. Roxas had told him all he had to do was show up, he would take care of the rest. And that's what he did, he showed up like he had done many times before. It kind of unnerved Riku how content and laid back Roxas looked as he came walking up to him, and how the people passed them not even sparing them a glance. But then again why would they? They looked like regular teen boys just out doing nothing.

When his hand was taken in another warm one, Riku snapped back to reality. He looked down at his friend who usually showed no form of affection what so ever. He head was cast down, hiding his eyes from view. Riku blinked slightly in surprise when he realized that Roxas was shaking. "Roxas…?"

"And I don't want to die alone…"

It was said so quietly that if he hadn't been standing so close to the boy, he wouldn't have heard it. When he heard a soft sniffle his eyes widened as he leaned down took get a better look at his friends face. "Are you crying?" Roxas jerked his head to the side quickly so Riku wouldn't be able to see his face. "Don't be ridiculous!" Riku just frowned, his grip on Roxas hand tightened. He gave Roxas a few moments to compose himself, and then cleared his throat. It was amazing he even found his voice. "Come on, we going to do this or not?" Roxas looked up at him, his eyes were red and puffy and his nose had started to run, but he smiled softly anyway and gave him a soft nod. "Yes. I'm ready."

With that said they both climbed onto the railing and sat down. Roxas dug though his backpack and brought out two bottles of water. After he had handed Riku his own bottle Roxas cracked the lid open and threw the lid into the river, he watched Riku do the same. "You remember the plan right?" Riku looked at him sourly. "Of course I do. How could I forget something like that?" Roxas just nodded and held up his bottle as a toast. " I propose a toast. Too us. For I hope where ever we go, it'll be better than here." Riku raised his bottle right along next to Roxas and added a "Here, here." With that they clinked their bottles together, spilling some of the water, and on Roxas's command slipped the pills in their mouths and took a swig. The pills tasted bitter on Riku's tongue but he swallowed them anyway with a gulp and grimace. He watched as Roxas chucked his water bottle into the river below them like he had with his cap. He smiled, "You know, you keep doing that, they might arrest you for littering." Roxas looked at him with a serious expression. "They can't arrest a corpse." Riku frowned but nodded knowing that was true.

They sat there for a few moments, just gazing down at the water and the boats that passed underneath them every once in awhile. Riku could slowly start to feel the pills take effect on his body, his movements were becoming more sluggish and his brain was starting to calm down. "Wanna know what I don't get?" He'd said it out of the blue, so when Roxas looked up at him confused he couldn't help but smile. " I thought he adored you…you know the way he fawned over you all the time and everything." At the mention of him, Roxas closed his eyes tightly and took in a sharp breath. He frowned at his friend's reaction but continued anyway. " I mean really. I honestly thought I was going to have to beat him up if he didn't leave you alone sometimes." He was glad when Roxas let out a soft and sad laugh. But hey, at least it was a laugh. He watched, as Roxas's eyes were getting heavier, his movements starting to slow down as well.

"Yeah. Surprised me too when he went off with that blonde musician guy…I can't even remember his name…"

"I think it started with a D…or something…"

Roxas nodded his head as he glanced over at Riku. He watched him for a few minutes, until Riku turned to him as well and raised an eyebrow slowly. "What are you looking at Blondie?" Roxas let a content smile spread across his face. "Thank you…" Riku blinked and processed these words through his heavily medicated mind. "Eh?" Roxas looked down at the water again, the smile still in place. "I've wanted to do this for a long time now. But, I was always scared too…but now that I have someone with me, I feel like I can do it." Riku felt a tug at his heart and let in a slow and shaky breath. "Anything for you Rox."

They let a few more minutes pass in silence. Riku could feel his mouth start to numb up, finding it harder to form words. He saw Roxas shift slightly at his side.

"Ready?"

I don't know…

Riku nodded.

Roxas nodded slowly. Riku could tell his body was fully medicated just as his was…

"On three…" His speech was slurred.

Riku gazed down at the water. Had it gotten darker?

"One…"

Wait…

"Two…"

Stop…

"Three."

No!

He watched almost as if in slow motion as Roxas rocked his body forward, and off the railing. He watched as his friend's small and tiny body fell towards the deep and murky depths of the river, he could hear a woman scream in the background and someone shout for help. But all he could focus on was those dull blue eyes that looked up at him in betrayal and sadness, before he rocked himself backwards to fall from the railing onto the sidewalk.

Something had hit his head as he fell and was slowly making him lose consciousness.

"I'm…Sorr…Rox."

Everything went black.

"Riku!"

Riku and the detective looked up from the questioning session, as a small brunette came barging though the doors, almost knocking over a few nurses as he ran. He had been transported from the bridge to the ER quicker than he thought was possible. His wounds had been bandaged, and he had been given a quick examination to make sure the blow to the head hadn't caused any internal damage. They also drew blood for samples. Then they sent him to the upper east wing of the hospital for rest and recuperation. The police had followed, an old detective had been sent in to ask him questions. Questions about the pills they had taken. Turns out doctors can tell what you're taking and how much by a blood sample. There were questions about where he had gotten the pills. They were illegal, and taken at such a high dose, Riku was told he was lucky to be alive. Riku remained quiet through out the whole interview, only answering the old man with short quiet mumbles and gurgles. He could tell the detective was becoming aggravated with his responses, by how tightly the man was gripping his pen and pad of paper.

He also asked questions about Roxas.

At which Riku bowed his head, covering his eyes with his bangs.

_Roxas… _

But both had reacted when the loud boy burst into the room, his cheeks a bright healthy pink and his breath very labored. He probably ran the whole way here. "Riku!" He cried again as he rushed over to the beds side and took Riku's face in his hands. "What happened! The hospital called me because they couldn't get a hold of you're parents!" He was looking Riku over with his eyes, scanning every bit of the boys face and body that was uncovered by the bed sheet for wounds. Riku could see tears start to form in Sora's eyes when the brunette noticed the hat made of gauze on his friends head.

"Sora…"

"Excuse me young man! But we are in the middle of something." Sora's eyes immediately glanced over toward the old detective. His face had become red with frustration at getting no answers, and now he had just been sent off the edge when this young boy came busting in and interrupted his questioning. Sora furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Questioning? Why on earth are you questioning him? He's hurt!" Sora had thrust a fist onto his hip and glared at the older man, as if daring him to speak against him. But Sora could never be threatening. The detective stood up from his seat in room. "I know he's hurt, sir." The mans voice was utterly calm despite his flaming red and upset face. He had called Sora sir. That sounded completely wrong to call Sora sir, it made Riku's insides twitch. "But, you're friend has been involved in a suicide and the possibility of hording illegal drugs. So it's my job to question him, hurt or not."

He could tell without looking up that Sora had froze.

"Riku…?"

He kept looking down at the blue and yellow blankets in his lap.

"Riku, what happened?" His voice was quieter this time. Almost as if he was scared what his silver haired best friends answer would be. Still Riku wouldn't answer. He could hear the detective clear his throat gruffly. "Look, I'll come back in an hour or so. Hopefully you'll have something more to say Mr. Masaki." And with that the old man left, leaving the two alone in the room. It was silent for a long time, until Riku heard the scraping of metal against the tile floor as Sora pulled a chair up to the bedside and plopped down in it. He heard his friend sigh loudly and he glanced over at him though his long bangs. Sora regarded him with a pout and a glare, looking as if he were Riku's mother and were scolding him. But Sora didn't say anything, he just looked over at Riku's nightstand too see the uneaten bowl of tomatoes soup and gilled cheese laying there on a tray. His eyebrows slopped down further. "Riku Masaki, how in the world to you expect to get better if you don't eat?"

He opened his mouth to protest but shut it immediately when Sora picked up the tray and put it in Riku's lap. " Now eat." But he made no move too. Which in turn made Sora slightly annoyed. "Fine, I'm going to try and call Roxas. See if he can get you to eat." Sora spat as he flipped his phone open. "He had his cell turned off when I called him earlier, but surely it's on now." Sora muttered more to himself than to Riku.

_Roxas…_

Riku's stomach did a double flip, and lurched forward to puke. But because of eating nothing and taking those pills, all that came up was gray burning acidic junk, and he coughed harshly as it left a burning feeling in his throat. "Riku!" Sora quickly snapped his cell shut and leaned towards his friend and rubbed his back soothing as the gray liquid kept pouring from Riku's mouth and onto the tray and blankets. " I should get a nurse!" He went to press the button above Riku's bed, but Riku's hand was quicker as it wrapped around his wrist and jerked it down.

"No… I…I'm okay now."

"You just puked sludge Riku! I don't think you-"

"I'm said I'm fine!"

Sora stared at his friend with great concern. "Riku…What happened…?"

Riku closed his eyes tightly and wiped the corner of his mouth with his sleeve. He took in a deep breath, and then counting to five he let it out slowly. "Roxas…won't pick up." He was starting to shake slightly, he could see his hands start to tremble. Sora tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at his friends, what seemed like to him, odd topic change. "Riku, how do you know that? And even so if he doesn't we can just try calling agai-"

"No. He won't pick up. I'm sure he won't…"

Sora rolled his eyes, now getting tired of this game of dodge around what really happened. "Look Riku, if you're just going to sit around here and not tell me what happened then I'm just going to leave."

"He's dead."

A frustrated sigh. "Who?"

All Sora could do was gasp as Riku flung the sheets off his body, causing the tray on his lap too go flying and the bowl filled with soup to clang to the floor and splatter the walls with the red liquid. He found himself pressed against the wall, wrists pinned above his head in an iron grip that was going to bruise later, and came face to face with green iris's that were so livid, Sora would have been dead if looks could kill. "Who the hell do you think I mean Sora! I mean Roxas! Roxas! R-O-X-A-S! Our best friend! He's dead! Dead! As in not coming back!" He was starting to get horse from the shouting, and he could bet the nurses were going to come bursting in any second to see what the commotion was about. But he didn't care. He didn't care about anything right now. One of his best friends was dead. He looked down at Sora, the boy had become visibly paler and his eyes had widened in dread at the information of his friends death. His was mouthing words, but nothing was coming out.

"Roxas….gone…" He tried to move out of Riku's grasp but was finding it hard and he cringed when Riku tightened his grip, almost crushing his wrists. Sora tried to understand what his friend was telling him, but he felt stupid. Roxas couldn't be…it just didn't happen to kids. They were kids. Only kids! Especially Roxas. Roxas was a good kid…got good grades, helped out other students, volunteered and everything. Sure he was a bit moody, but what teenager wasn't every now and then? How…? What had happened?

The boy blinked out of his thoughts when he felt something wet drip down onto his cheek. He quickly jerked his head up to look at Riku, and there like he feared were small steams of tears running down his friend's cheeks. "I…I could have said no…" His voice broke and went a slight note higher. "I could have stopped him…" Sora didn't like how he sounded. He didn't sound like himself. He sounded like someone in those soap operas. The kind of person him, Roxas and Riku would always laugh and imitate later in an over dramatic fashion. He couldn't help but press himself closer to the wall, to get at least some room between him and Riku. "W-what are you talking about Riku?" He couldn't help but feel relived when Riku let go of his wrists, but didn't move away. Instead he dropped his head onto Sora's shoulder and buried his face into his neck. Sora felt his shirt grow damp. "Roxas…took his life…I didn't follow. I left him alone."

What he said made Sora's blood freeze. "What did you just say?" He whispered, hoping he had heard wrong. But Riku didn't answer and only buried his head further into Sora's neck.

"Riku!" He felt tears of his own well up, but he couldn't tell if it was from the news or anger. He beat his fists onto Riku's back as hard as he could from his position. "Answer me! What did you mean!" He could feel the tears start to roll down his own cheeks and slide into Riku's hair and gauze cap. "Riku, tell me that he didn't do it! Tell me you weren't there to prevent it! Tell me!" Again he went unanswered. He screamed something without words and slowly slid down to the floor with a sobbing Riku huddled against him. He heard the doctors and nurse burst in from his scream, but paid them no mind. He was crying so hard he could hardly breath. He could hear Riku take in a sharp gasp of air, only to let out more strangled and muffled sobs. Slowly he brought his arms around Riku's shoulders and held him to him gently. He rocked them both best he could, and buried his head into Riku's hair.

That night they fell asleep against the wall of St. Marie's hospital, curled against each other.

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**A/N:** Ok, if you people wish to burn me at the stake or something. Please wait until I have less homework.

Okay, that was the biggest load of angst I've ever written, I feel sick. I really don't know how people do that or a living.

Well, Please review if you like it. Bye-bye! Love Tenkuno.


	2. Welcome

**A/N:** OMG! I finally came out with something...Aren't you all amazed? XD Yeah okay anyway. Second chapter...

Dedicated to Billy-Joe, and Glass slipper because she is amazing and edited this thing for me!!

**Warnings:** Gayness, angst, just weird.**

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**

Seraphim: Welcome

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_Welcome to the Island. _

Where you can have all different kinds of foods. From chocolate dipped strawberries to butter smothered corn on the cob and muffins. All kinds of flavors of muffins, even toasted coconut.

Where the penguins wearing the two feet tall top hats, face off against the flamingos wearing the brown and green blower hats in a game of Blitzball or Soccer. It's whatever the Head Counsel wishes.

It's always a beautiful day. There is no rain. Ever.

The waves always provide nice soothing music and always seem to be a nice toe-curling coolness. The sand just the opposite it is warm, and it is as white as the water is blue.

Yes. The Island is Paradise.

"Riku...We are talking to you."

Riku smiled as he watched the shortest of the penguins run after the blitzball, then trip and fall flat on his face, his crisp black top hat falling off and over to the side as he cried out for help. Riku shook his head slowly and looked over towards his two friends. "Yes I'm sorry. What were you saying, Roxas?" He watched as Sora snickered at Roxas's glare.

_But the glare didn't hold up for long; soon the blonde boy sighed and shook his head. "Nothing, I was just talking about how Twizler bites make better and sturdier bridges than regular Twizzlers. But pig boy over here," he gestured over to Sora, who at the time was eating a chocolate chip muffin, with a flick of his head, "he thinks that Reasons would make a better bridge." _

"They would!"

Riku had to laugh. "Sora, it would melt."

"See, I told yo, Sora."

Sora looked at Riku like he had just given away the biggest secret, then glared at Roxas, crossed his arms and sat back in his seat, now angry. Riku smiled over at the scowling brunette as he sipped his glass of purple lemonade. He blinked when he heard the soft organ grinder music float through the air, and watched as Roxas groaned and Sora sat up quickly, forgetting his anger immediately as his eyes lit up with excitement. He grinned like an idiot and looked at Riku with eyes like those of a child asking his parents if he could have candy. The other boy shrugged slightly, but stood up anyway and smiled when Sora shot out of his seat with a loud cheer, then set off towards where the music was coming from. He watched the brunette run for a moment before he glanced over at his blonde friend.

"_You coming?" _

_Roxas glared at his half-eaten piece of cake before he sighed, stood up and shoved his hands in his pocket. "Yeah, I guess." _

_Smiling, Riku nodded at him, and Roxas walked calmly down the hill towards their happily yelling friend, towards the crowd that had formed below the hill. _

As they got closer, the music became louder and faster; there was a brass band accompanying the organ grinder music now. It was rather annoying.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and girls!"

Everyone looked up at the stage as the man in the bright, neon blue and yellow pin-stripped suit shouted into the hand-held microphone. He wore a mask that had half a moon and half a sun. His long white, almost silver hair was pulled back and twisted into a loose fish braid, and placed upon his head was a crisp black top hat that matched nothing on his attire. He made a large and low sweeping gesture with the hand that wasn't holding the microphone to behind him where the dark purple satin curtain that had various little golden and silver stars sewn in hung. "Step right up! Step right up! Come closer! You won't believe you eyes! Behind this curtain, you'll see something you've never seen or heard of before!"

Riku frowned as he saw the clowns come rolling out onto the stage behind the man. He watched as they danced around like the fools they were supposed to be; they jumped off the stage and ran around the crowd. Their white and bright red faces twisted into ugly joyful expressions as they honked their annoying horns and sprayed each other with water guns. Riku sighed as he glanced up towards the main stage again and watched the Ringleader as he pranced around gailyand smiled at many of the women standing around.

"I give you, the wonderful and amazing—"

"Riku!"

That call of his name was given with a harsh jab to his side. He grunted softly and opened his eyes sleepily. "Wha?" He asked and looked over to the side to see Sora glaring at him harshly. He blinked again and looked up to see the priest. Oh crap…He looked around to notice many of the ladies dressed in their Sunday best giving him disapproving looks, then turning away, their noses in the air; men glaring at him and mouthing words to him like, 'You better stop or leave.' His shoulders slumped as he gazed up at the large stone crucifix on the wall above the podium. "Lovely…"

**-sSs-**

"I can't believe you Riku! You fell asleep during mass again! You were snoring so loud I was scared I would have to drag you out of there myself!" Sora growled, annoyed as he took a bite of his sandwich.

Riku sighed as he glanced down at his half-eaten sandwich. He wasn't even hungry…Why did he buy it?

"Sorry…"

"Aww…Don't be so harsh on him Sora! He's doing a lot of classes! He was probably just up late doing a great job on a term paper or something."

Riku smiled when he felt Kairi's comforting embrace wrap around his shoulder. He could always count on Kairi to pull him out of Sora's wrath…Good thing it was vice versa as well.

Sora glared. "Still…" But he relented when Kairi reached over and smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "Yeah, yeah…."

They sat eating in silence until Sora's sudden outburst had both Kairi and Riku jumping from their seats a little bit.

"Oh! I forgot! I got you something Riku…" The brunette dug though his khaki cargo pants for a minute.

"You did?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

He raised an eyebrow as Sora pulled out a small little white object and placed it softly on the table next to Riku's drink. Riku blinked and looked at it for a moment; it looked….like a small person. "….What is it?"

"It's a Seraphim. In Holy Writ these angelic beings are distinctly mentioned only in Isaiah's description of his call to the prophetical office. In a vision of deep spiritual import, granted to him in the Temple, Isaiah beheld the invisible realities symbolized by the outward forms of Yahweh's dwelling place, of its altar, its ministers, etc. While he stood gazing before the priest's court, there arose before him an august vision of Yahweh sitting on the throne of His glory. On each side of the throne stood mysterious guardians, each supplied with six wings: two to bear them up, two veiling their faces, and two covering their feet, now naked, as became priestly service in the presence of the Almighty. His highest servants, they were there to minister to Him and proclaim His glory, each calling to the other: "Holy, holy, holy, Yahweh of hosts; all the Earth is full of His glory." These were seraphim, one of which flew towards Isaiah bearing a live coal, which he had taken from the altar, and with which he touched and purified the Prophet's lips, that henceforth these might be consecrated to the utterances of inspiration." He replied, and Riku and Kairi had to exchange glances to convince each other that this was in fact the same Sora they knew.

"Here…it's all in here…" Sora sighed as he pulled out a piece of folded up paper. "It came with the figure…" He opened it up and began to read aloud.

"Such, in substance, is Isaiah's symbolical vision from which may be inferred all that Sacred Scripture discloses concerning the Seraphim. Although described under a human form, with faces, hands, and feet, they are undoubtedly existing spiritual beings corresponding to their name, and not mere symbolic representations as is often asserted by advanced Protestant scholars. Their number is considerable, as they appear around the heavenly throne in a double choir, and the volume of their chorus is such that the sound shakes the foundations of the palace.

"They are distinct from the cherubim, who carry or veil God and show the presence of His glory in the earthly sanctuary, whilst the seraphim stand before God as ministering servants in the heavenly court. Their name too, seraphim, distinguishes them from the cherubim, although it is confessedly difficult to obtain from the single Scriptural passage wherein these beings are mentioned a clear conception of its precise meaning.

"The name is oftentimes derived from the Hebrew verb _seraph_, and this etymology is very probable because of its accordance with Isaiah 6:6, where one of the seraphim is represented as carrying celestial fire from the altar to purify the Prophet's lips. Many scholars prefer to derive it from the Hebrew noun _seraph_, "a fiery and flying serpent", spoken of in Numbers 21:6; Isaiah 14:29, and the brazen image of which stood in the Temple in Isaiah's time, but it is plain that no trace of such serpentine form appears in Isaiah's description of the seraphim. Still less probable are the views propounded of late by certain critics and connecting the Biblical seraphim with the Babylonian Sharrapu, a name for Nergal, the fire-god, or with the Egyptian griffins which are placed at Beni-Hassan as guardians of graves.

"The seraphim are mentioned at least twice in the Book of Enoch, together with and distinctly from the cherubim. In Christian theology, the seraphim occupy with the cherubim the highest rank in the celestial hierarchy, while in the liturgy, they are represented as repeating the Trisagion exactly as in Isaiah 6."

Riku looked down at the figure, its white hair flowing past its shoulders. Its white lifeless eyes, seeming to bore into his. Its word gripped tightly in its small pale hand.

"I thought it looked like you."

They were all quiet for a moment.

"….Thanks, Sora."

**-SsS-**

Dr. Squall Leonheart

Patient: Riku Yammada

Gender: Male

Age: 22

Symptoms: Dizziness, Sleepiness, Attention span reduced, Mood Swings, Loss of appetite

Brief history: Attempt of suicide, Deals with depression

"Why do you care if some people think your name is girly, Riku?"

"I don't."

Dr Squall Leonheart. Young, probably right out of college. Twenty-five…somewhere around there. Was rated in some clinic magazine as one of the best Physiatrists of 2007. He had many awards plastered on his wall, a lot of them with words so freaking big they didn't even make any sense anymore. He was right-handed, but could sometimes write with his left. He kept his hair shoulder length and sometimes tied it back in a ponytail if it was messy or needed a washing. His eyes were a deep gray-blue color; it kind of remind Riku of the rainy sky.

"Then why do you keep bringing it up?"

Riku rolled his eyes. This man annoyed him. He annoyed him even more when he kept bringing up what Riku had brought up. Riku sighed and looked up at the ceiling and watched as a few colorful mobiles swayed slightly; there was also a piñata over in the corner…Maybe the Doc likes to party? He mused over the idea for a second before becoming bored with the notion of his doctor taking shots at some Mexican bar. He glanced out the small window in the office, and frowned. Raining…It was raining again. It always freaking rained here.

"Riku."

Pfft…he wasn't even asking…he was demanding his attention.

"I can't help what my parents named me."

"You could always change it to something else."

"If I changed it," Riku muttered, and he was pretty sure he was right on this subject, "you would just tell me that I was going to far too much of a length to express my masculinity."

"What I would tell you," Leon said with a heavy sigh, "is that you shouldn't go trying to figure me out. I'd appreciate it if you would just say what you feel."

"What I feel," Riku said, to him what feels like for the thousandth time, "is happy. I have no problems. Why wouldn't I feel happy?"

Leon pursed his lips slightly and tapped his pen on his desk for a moment. "I don't know Riku. You tell me." Ugh. Riku sighed. He was going to play head games with him again was he? He always did this, twisted Riku's words so that they would make it sound like Riku actually did have a problem. " I have no problems…I'm happy." Riku deadpanned as he watched the ceiling. "So stop asking me."

"Alright."

"Good."

There were a few moments of silence. "So, how is Sora?"

Riku hissed and glared over at Leon. "Shut up."

"It's an innocent question, Riku."

Riku glared darkly at the brunette and moved his head to look out the window. "He's fine." He gritted his teeth in annoyance when he heard Leon hum in approval.

"Still have that girlfriend?" Riku tensed. "Kairi right?"

"Shut up!"

"Riku, there is nothing wrong with what you feel towards Sora."

That was it. Riku stood up quickly and headed for the door. "You know what, forget this! I'm leaving!"

"Riku, you can't walk away from everything."

Riku turned around and glared harshly at the man. Leon stared right back.

Riku left after making another appointment for two weeks later.

**-sSs-**

"Wrong!"

Riku cringed when the keys were pounded on, and the harsh sound of the notes being abused reached his ears. "You're doing it completely wrong again!" Riku sighed as he pulled his hands away from the ivory keys. And let his hands fall limp at his sides.

"I'm sorry. " he muttered.

The blonde growled harshly and stood up, knocking a few sheets of music to the floor. "That's all you ever say, 'Sorry'. Let me tell you something, Riku. Sorry won't help you in the world, and it definitely won't help you if you want to get into the music world!" Riku looked down at the glimmering white keys as Cloud sighed and rubbed his temple. "I swear, can you play the notes like anymore of a robot?" He snarled when Riku didn't respond. "Well?" he hissed.

"How can I answer a question, when I don't know the answer?" Riku replied with a haughty tone.

Cloud had to resist the urge to grab the man by his collar and shake him. But he took a deep breath and let it out, "Look, maybe we should pick this up in our next lesson."

Riku's eyes narrowed. He knew what that meant. "Geeze, I didn't know you were such a quitter." He spat. He could feel the blonde man freeze; knew his teacher had a history of anger issues. But he was surprised when the blonde didn't try and grab at him; instead he just grabbed his coat and marched towards the door.

"I don't have time to deal with your shit, Riku." he muttered quietly as he turned the knob to the music room and opened the door.

"Keep practicing. I expect you to know that song by heart by Monday."

Riku hissed and slammed his hands down on the keys just as Cloud slammed the door.  
**  
**  
**-sSs-**

_" Riku, you left me…" _

His eyes shot open.

His throat was dry, cold, and he couldn't see anything.

It took him a few moments to realize that he was in his room. He sighed as he glanced over at his clock. He groaned when it read three in the morning. "Wonderful…" He shifted and made a face when he found that his sheets were completely drenched in sweat. He sat up and glanced over in the direction of Sora's bed. He could slightly see the form of the sleeping boy from under the covers.

_"Riku…"_

He shuddered when he heard the small voice. Oh god…..Why hadn't those dreams stopped? It had been three years since that day…He felt so sick. He sighed when he felt something wet make its way down his face and he wiped at it. "God…" He whispered quietly. "Please…I'm sorry….I'm sorry…" He cupped his hands over his face as the tears started to bubble up and spill. "Forgive me…Roxas…I'm sorry…"

"Mmmm….Riku?"

Riku's head snapped up as he looked over at the form that had shifted and listened as sheets rustled against each other. "Y-Yeah?" he tried to keep his voice from cracking. The other was quiet for a few moments, and Riku almost thought he had gone back to sleep before he spoke up again. "Mm….You okay?" He didn't answer, and Sora knew from experience what that meant. "Did you have another dream?" Riku only let out a soft whine. He heard Sora shift and sigh. "Come here…"

It was their routine now.

Riku would have a bad dream; Sora would comfort him. That's how it went.

Riku moved so he could bury his face into Sora's shoulder and sob. "He hates me…He hates me for what I did…" he cried harshly, soaking his friend's shirt. Sora rubbed his back and whispered into his ear comforting words until he fell into a peaceful sleep…

_Welcome back to the Island._

_

* * *

_

**_A/N:_ **Yeah...Okay. Please review!


	3. Let them Ring

**Seraphim**

Chapter Three : Let the bells ring

A/N: This took me forever to write! I am so sorry! Thank you for all that have kept up with this! Enjoy! -bows-

* * *

Floating is always fun to do. 

It's raining outside…..Can tell by the soft sound of the spatter against the windows.

But then again it didn't really matter anymore…it always seemed to rain ever since he heard.

A large bony hand slid stick like fingers though fiery red, untamed spikes.

He was…gone?

Felt like someone had slashed into his chest. It made him feel sick too think about it…

He had only been gone for a week…He had seen him before he left.

Emerald green eyes screwed tightly shut as the memory came flooding back no matter how badly it was unwanted.

_"You'll come back right…?"_

_He had to laugh at the smaller boy, which wasn't a smart idea because he soon received a harsh blow to his abdomen. He cringed and rubbed his stomach for a moment before grinning through it and winking._

_"Of course Roxas, You know I wouldn't leave you behind!" He cooed loudly, on purpose just as an older woman walked by. He snickered and prepared for another blow from the small blonde beside him, but when it never came he blinked and looked down at his companion._

_"Roxas…?"_

_His blonde head was bowed, shoulders hunched, and his shoes pointed inward in a pigeon toed fashion. He looked adorable. Well, at least to Axel he did. "Good…" Roxas whispered out. "Remember…your not allowed to leave me here…That was your promise." He looked up at him and what Axel saw made him take a step back._

_"Ehh…Roxas?"_

_His normally cold and unrelenting blue eyes were wide, scared and glazed over slightly with…tears?_

_"Hey Rox…Come on…It's nothing to get so emotional about…" He was starting to freak! This kid never cried! Axel frown and moved forward his hands held out as if he couldn't decided if he wanted to hug the blond or defend himself against the other. "I'm not getting emotional!" The other huffed loudly and then glared back down at the ground. There! That was the Roxas he knew and loved…the overly defiant one._

_"Of course not…" He said softly. He gazed fondly at the boy, then grinned like a lazy cat and ruffled the boy's bright spikes. "Better be careful! With the way your acting might make me think you actually are falling for me…"_

_"Oh shut up!"_

"Ugh….man…" He groaned softly as he rolled over onto his back and ran thin white finger through his dirty red hair.

Even in his sleep Roxas wouldn't leave him alone….

With a loud sigh he heaved himself up and dragged himself over towards the vanity mirror that was lit up with bight Florissant white lights. It made the dark circles under his eyes more pronounced. He frowned at the ugly reflection looking back at him.

His bight green eyes were now mixed with bloodshot veins, his red spiky hair drooped slightly and needed a good washing and conditioning. And he knew he didn't smell to good as well…

Who knew Roxas could do this too him…

He turned to the sink and plugged the drain and turned the warm water on and watched as it filled the sink.

Water…..That was how Roxas went….the water took him.

He let his mind wander to when he had found out about the accident….No…..it wasn't an accident….Roxas had done it of his own free will….

Axel couldn't help the harsh heave of his chest as he chocked down a sob. He had only been gone for a week! One week! Roxas hadn't called, e-mailed, texted him or anything! And then he gets a phone call from that kid named Sora…

He looked up back at his reflection and grit his teeth when he found the tears slipping down his cheeks.

_"Come on, Axel. Your being so freaking slow."_

No….

_"If all you do is play your dumb bass, you won't get into a good college."_

Stop it….!

_"Ugh! Axel! Stop hugging me! People are starting to stare!"_

"Stop it!" He yelled and smashed his fist into his reflection. It hurt like hell but he paid no mind to it as he watched his reflection. It was broken….Not just literally….He was nothing with out the blonde.

He needed to find Riku. He needed to know what happened….

Quickly he threw on his jeans and a shirt. Quietly he slipped his cell phone into his pocket and walked out to go find the one that was with Roxas that night.

**-sSs-**

Riku sighed as he laid down on the blanket of grass. "Why did I sign up for this…?"

He frowned when a soft giggle was given as an answer.

"Because you love art?"

He smiled slightly and glanced over at the girl. She really was beautiful out here at night in that white tank top and jeans. Her light blonde hair and pale skin almost glowing against the darkness that surrounded her. An angel of light…? Yeah okay. This is why Sora was the writer and he was the musician.

"Buzzzt! That's minus 3,490 points from Miss. Namine."

He grinned when she laughed at that. "Okay…how about because you are failing your art class so you signed up for this extra credit so you don't have to retake the class."

He mock scowled over at her. "Ouch. Couldn't you have been a little softer at that?"

She grinned. Even her teeth were a bright white.

"No can do, Sir Riku."

He stuck his tongue out at her and she laughed flicking a piece of small balled up paper at him. He smiled as he watched her pull her knees up slightly and place her sketching pad there as if getting ready to draw, but instead she looked up at the stars.

It was almost hard to believe she was dieing.

"Nam…?"

She watched the sky for a few more moments, before blinking and smiling almost sadly.

"Sometimes I wonder what I would have grown up to be…."

Riku scowled instantly. They had talked about this before, she knew he hated it. "Namine, I thought I told you not to talk about stupid things."

But instead of quickly offering apologizes like she usually did she just frowned softly and continued to look at the stars. Her blue eyes grew slightly damp as she blinked and then sniffed slightly. Riku frowned and quickly sat up moving over to her side. "Hey…. on…"

She closed her eyes tightly and let him wrap his arms around her.

"Come on, Nam…..You know I have a weakness when it comes to crying…"

He felt his heart sink as her small shoulders started to shake.

"Namine…."

"I'm…..I'm sorry!…" Her voice broke and wavered as she started to sob. "I don't…..I don't mean too…!"

He sighed as he pulled her into his lap and held her tightly until she started to calm down. He took her small hands in his and ran his thumbs over her knuckles. Thinking for a moment he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small little white figurine.

"Hey…..Stop crying for a second and look at this…okay?"

He heard her sniff loudly and move to wipe at her eyes so she could see the little thing clearly. She always liked art, if it was a painting or a bunch of crap thrown together; she always liked to examine it. Luckily, his plan worked as she gently took it from his hand. "W…What is it?"

He shrugged and bit and moved so he could rest his chin on her cold shoulder. "I don't know….Its something Sora gave me. He called it a Serafrime or something…"

"A Seraphim…"

He blinked. "Hey….Yeah that's it. How'd you know that?"

She laughed slightly, and his heart felt a little lighter. "I'm an art major, Riku. A huge part of art is religious based."

He had never thought of that.

"Why'd he give it too you?"

He blinked for a moment and then remembered why Sora had given it too him. The thought made him blush at the memory. "He….He told me I looked like one…."

"An angel…?"

"Yeah….I guess."

She laughed again and he raised an eyebrow. "Well, really in Catholic belief the Seraphim are supposed to have six wings and a few heads and be flaming…I don't think that fits you…"

"Wha?!"

He growled when Namine started to laugh harder. "Hey! Shut up! I don't think Sora meant that!" He scowled and looked down at the little figurine. Well, at least it didn't have many heads that were on fire, it looked just like a normal beautiful angel….Well…. he'd never seen an angel….so…normal stereotypical angel?

He pouted as she tried to quiet her laughter.

"Okay…..So your not a multiple flaming head angel….but I guess….If I were to think about Luca Giordano's type of angels….then yes….you look like one…"

"Who?"

He frowned when she rolled her eyes and commented about his denseness and lack of knowledge on great art.

"If you meant that as an insult, then you look like one as well."

There was silence.

"I didn't mean it as one."

"Oh…."

He looked up at the brightly shining stars.

"Then you still look like one as well."

A pair of angels'….that's what they were.

**-SsS-**

"Argh! Riku!"

Riku glanced up from his sociology book and looked over at the raving brunette. "Yes?"

Sora looked angry….Which sadly wasn't scary at all. It more made Riku want to take a picture and put it on the Internet because it was a funny site.

"We need to talk about you hair!"

There was a long silence with that.

"…..Well…..I'm sure what ever you may think, its as innocent as they day it was born with me."

He grinned as bight blue eyes narrowed into deep-sea slits. But he blinked when the other boy stomped up to him and then waved something in his face that was dripping wet and looked like something his old cat used to hack up. "What is that?" He cried as he tried to move his face away from the object.

"This?!" Sora shouted. Those poor people downstairs….they already hated them because of Sora's loud music habits. "This is the thing that was clogging the shower drain this whole time!" He bellowed into Riku's face. "This is the thing that has caused me to spend millions of dollars in drain cleaning supplies! This thing is Satan! You want to know what it is?!"

Riku blinked again and looked at the dripping grayish ball. "Didn't you already say it was Satan?"

"Its-!…Huh?" Sora blinked for a moment and looked at the little thing and looked back at Riku shaking his head. "That's not the point! The point is this is your hair! Because of your stupid long hair the drain got so backed up I couldn't shower for three days!"

"Eww…"

But he shut up when Sora rounded on him with another glare. He knew not to get Sora too upset…

"Well what do you want me to do about it? I can't help that I shed."

Sora jutted out his lower lip and gave Riku a leveled look. "Either you clean the drain after you shower or you cut that hair!"

His hands automatically went to his silver hair. "You can't cut this off! It took me years to grow it!"

"Then take better care of the shower!"

Riku rolled his eyes and nodded. "Yes, mother." And then grinned when Sora growled at him.

Sometimes he questioned why he loved Sora….but it was times like this that he knew the answer.

Because Sora is Sora.

Who needs a reason other than that?

**-SsS-**

He hummed softly as he played the notes softly.

There was only one reason why he ever really liked when Sora went out on a date with Kairi.

It meant he was able to sit in the living room and play as loud as he wished, without Sora gripping about the noise.

He smiled as he watched his pale thin finger slide across the ivory piano keys with ease. What was Cloud talking about? He could easily play with heart, just needed the right song.

Carol of the Bells.

Sure it was a Christmas holiday song…and it was the middle of September.

But that didn't matter. It was still a lovely song.

He closed his eyes and let his fingers feel the keys, that was always the best for him. He smiled as the soft rings of the cords inside the piano were being struck.

Beautiful.

_Oh how they pound,  
raising the sound,  
o'er hill and dale,  
telling their tale  
_  
He smiled as he heard the voice.

_Christmas is here,  
bringing good cheer,  
to young and old,  
meek and the bold,_

Oh how they pound,  
raising the sound,  
o'er hill and dale,  
telling their tale

Everyone at their high school had always said the boy had an amazing voice.

_Gaily they ring  
while people sing  
songs of good cheer,  
Christmas is here_

Like an angel they would say.

_Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas,  
Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas,  
On on they send ,  
on without end,  
their joyful tone to every home  
Dong Ding dong ding, dong Bong_

Roxas always did have an amazing voice.

He was jolted out of his musical world by a sharp knock on the door.

He frowned slightly. Sora couldn't be done with his date already could he? He had only left about twenty minutes ago….

Riku slowly closed the covering over the keys and got up and walked over to the door.

"Who….Who is it?"

He pressed his ear up against the door.

"Names Axel."

_"I love a guy… His name…Its stupid…but…its Axel."_

His eyes widened.

* * *

A/N: Dear lord...listening to all my classical piano music...this song had me in tears. Okay tell me what you think please! 


	4. Goodbye, Hello

**A/N**: Thank yuo so much to everyone who reviewed this! Means a lot!

Also HUGE thank you too The Glass Slipper, for editing this. I know it took hard work thank you bunchs!

Okay. So please enjoy and please review.

* * *

He sucked on the inside of his cheek and he turned his cup of cooling coffee counter clockwise. 

He watched the cars outside speed through the rain, and he occasionally glanced over at the redhead He tapped his fingers on the table for a few moments as he watched the other sitting across from him in the dingy rundown diner.

How come Roxas had loved this guy?

He wasn't all that special. He was thin, too thin. His hair was an ugly bright red color that was spiked sharply, not soft spikes like Sora's or his piano instructor's. He also had these really weird triangle tattoos under his eyes. Didn't that hurt to get done? Also the guy's fingernails were bitten and dirty…and he smelled like smoke. A smoker. Great.

"So…."

The guy must have been lost in thought because he jumped at Riku's voice.

"Eh…?"

Riku frowned. God, this guy had interrupted his playing time and now he wasn't even saying anything.

Screw this.

"You know what? Come back when you're ready to actually talk." But his motions to get out of the booth were stopped by two surprisingly strong, bony hands on his shoulders. He glared down at Axel and was met with pleading bright green eyes. His anger faltered for a moment. The guy really looked bad. He had nasty black bags under his eyes that looked like he hadn't slept a wink in awhile. Axel's grip tightened on his shoulders as he gulped softly.

"Please…I want-...need to know stuff."

Riku paused for a moment to think about this. He really wanted to get home before Sora wanted to go to bed. Also, why should he stay here and help the man who caused Roxas to take his own life? At that thought he felt like throwing Axel's hands off of him and spitting in his face. But when the redhead whispered another soft 'please', his bitterness ebbed away slightly as he sat down again.

"Fine."

He shrugged off the hands and took a sip of his now cold coffee. Ugh.

"So what do you want to hear?"

Axel shifted in his seat for a few moments before he looked up at Riku. "Why did he do it?"

What…?

Riku gripped his cup so tightly that he could hear it crack under the pressure. _Why….Why did he do it…?_ This man actually had the nerve to ask why Roxas had done what he had when it was all his fault?! Riku grit his teeth tightly and swallowed his cursing words. He had to take a few breaths before he could answer without punching this guy across the jaw.

"Are you asking me…why he killed himself…?"

"Umm…Yeah."

Riku couldn't control his sneer. He felt a slight ringing in his ears.

"Because of unrequited love."

Bluntness was always the best way to go. And he couldn't help the satisfying feeling as the look of despair came into those emerald-colored eyes, but it shocked him when the next expression was anger and he jumped when Axel smashed his fist against the table so hard he could have sworn that the man's hand was now broken. "It's that little bastard's fault!"

"What…?"

Axel growled loudly and a few people gave them looks. "That brat! What was his name…? Sam?...No...It had an A in it somewhere…Sora? Yeah! Sora! That jack-ass Sora!"

Riku could only stare at him wide-eyed for a second before his brain was able to reach his mouth. "S-Sora…? What does he have to do with this!" Calling Sora any kind of name like that in front of Riku was not a smart idea, unless the brunette really had done something to deserve it.

"He's the kid that Roxas loved!"

WHAT?!

"E-Excuse me?!"

Axel scowled and waved his words off. "You heard me!"

Riku looked around, but not to see if people were looking which they certainly were doing a lot of. No…he was looking around for something to say about the retarded words that this man was spewing. Where had he gotten that idea! Roxas loved Sora? As in the romantic sense? That is probably the stupidest thing Riku had ever heard!

"What are you talking about!"

"Oh you were there! He was always hanging all over Roxas! Roxas always talked about him when we were together! It would take someone blind not to see he was head over heels with the stupid brunette!"

"THEN YOU MUST BE BLIND!"

By now everyone had stopped what they were doing and were looking at them. Even Axel had stopped his ranting to stare shocked at Riku. He hadn't exploded like that since the time his dad had told him that hanging out with underclassmen wasn't the best idea. He was heaving and was probably red in the face as well.

"What…? What do you mean?"

"What I mean, is that Roxas did not, let me repeat 'did not' love Sora! At least not in any romantic way. He loved you, you idiotic stupid prick!" With that said he thrust his finger right at Axel's face to prove his point.

"M-Me?"

"Yeah you!"

He hissed loudly and then glared at the people looking at them in the restaurant. "What?!" They murmured to themselves and looked away before their waitress moved over to them and asked them too leave.

**-SsS-**

He scowled as a cold burst of wind blew off the water from the docks and hit his face.

He was still in a fowl mood from when they were kicked out of the restaurant.

"Are….Are you sure it was me…?"

Luckily his hands were in his pocket so Axel wasn't able to see them turn into fists. He really hated this guy.

"Your name is Axel, isn't it?"

He watched the redhead bow his head and bite his lip.

They walked in silence for a few moments before Axel gasped and his head shot up. Riku frowned when his arm was grabbed, and he was forced to face the other.

"You said he killed himself over unrequited love, right?"

Riku sighed and nodded. Really…all these thoughts of that night were starting to get to him.

"That…that means it was….all because of me."

Riku could only stare at him for a few moments, before his fist went flying into Axel's face. He watched him fall back a good three feet and land on his back with a low grunt. "What the hell!"

"Yes it's all because of you! He loved you more than anything! Then you went and broke his heart by running off with that blonde guy!" He could feel tears stinging his eyes.

"You-you mean Demyx?"

"I don't care what the hell his name is! You left Roxas!"

"No I didn't! Demyx was only my friend!"

"Like hell!"

"I loved Roxas!"

Riku took a step back as Axel buried his face in his hands and his back started to heave. Was…was he crying? He was…Axel was sobbing. Hard.

"I loved him…I only wanted him!" It was almost hard to understand him his sobs were so violent.

Riku watched Axel for a moment. He decided the man wasn't lying; either that or he was a wonderful actor. Why would someone act for a dead boy? He bit his lip and glanced over to the side, looking at the dark water. It lapped at the poles of the dock and sides of the boats that were tied to it. It looked happy, like it was playing and calling him. Like hell, he would answer. No way was he going near that cheery but deadly water again.

"What….What do I do?"

He blinked and looked back at Axel who seemed to have gotten a hold of himself. "What to do…"

"I don't want to be without him…"

They watched each other for a moment.

For the first time, Riku felt like he could connect with the other. They had both lost Roxas. Someone they loved dearly. He closed his eyes for a moment and licked his lips.

_I miss him, Riku…_

He opened his eyes.

"You miss him…"

"Of course I do…" Riku frowned slightly. Axel hadn't been talking to him, but he guessed it didn't really matter who answered.

"Would you do anything for him…?"

He watched as Axel nodded, a few tears slipping down his cheeks.

"Then I have an idea…"

**-SsS-**

They stood at the edge of the docks as they gazed into the water. It was as cold and dark as it had been that night. So dark you couldn't tell where the round was; as far as they knew it went on forever. He couldn't believe something like that had taken a life.

"Are you ready?"

He felt Axel tense slightly and look over at him. "I don't get it….What are we doing?"

"Just follow me okay…"

With that he took a deep breath and stepped into the water. It instantly made goosebumps rise up on his skin; his lips trembled slightly as the water came up to his upper chest. He had to take a few moments to gain his balance since the mud under his sneakers was unbalanced. He turned slowly towards Axel and held out his hand. "Come on."

Axel gave him an unsure look for a moment but then took his hand and Riku helped him into the water. When they were both settled into the water, Riku nodded and took a deep breath.

_Riku…I am so lonely…_

"I know…" he muttered under his breath softly.

Axel looked at him slightly out of the corner of his eyes and bit his lip. "How is this going to help?"

But Riku didn't answer him. He closed his eyes and bowed his head, "Lord forgive me."

"Wha-" But Axel didn't have a chance to finish that question for soon his head was forced under the freezing water.

Axel may have been taller but Riku was bulkier.

Riku growled loudly when he felt the larger boy struggle harshly. He then hissed when he felt Axel grab his arm and dig his fingers into it. It would leave a mark…he knew it would. He felt one of Axel's legs lose its footing under the water which caused his struggling to falter.

Riku bit his lip harshly as he counted. It had been two minutes; it couldn't be much longer.

He felt Axel's thrashing slowly start to stop, and after four minutes his body went limp. Riku held him under for a few more minutes before he let go and allowed the body of what was once Axel float up.

**-SsS-**

He heard the door open and the sound of someone kicking off their shoes quickly.

Did he hear dripping?

Sora groaned and looked up from his pillow. He ran a hand through his cinnamon brown spikes and squinted at the dark figure in the room.

"Riku…?"

"Yeah, Sor. It's me."

Sora yawned softly and glanced over at the alarm clock next to his bed. 2:05 a.m.

"Mmmm….Why are you home so late?" He frowned when he noticed the other slid soaking wet clothes off. "And why are you all wet?"

He heard Riku groan loudly as he shuffled through his underwear drawer. "Riku?"

"Because I got caught in the rain."

"I didn't hear any rain…"

"Well, it did!" Sora's eyes widened in surprise when Riku barked at him and slammed the drawer shut.

"Riku-"

"I have to go take a shower…"

Sora sighed and shut his mouth. It was probably another one of Riku's stupid mood swings.

The brunette shrugged his shoulders and laid his head down on his pillow to fall asleep again.

**-SsS-**

He closed his eyes as he let the hot water spray his back.

He felt the shampoo soapsuds slip out of his silver hair, landing in great large blobs on the shower floor, only to be washed away with the rush of the water.

He watched as his white skin turned a harsh red from the water's temperature.

_Thank you…_

He sighed softly. "You're welcome, Roxas."

**-SsS-**

"You seem to be in a good mood today."

He watched as Riku tilted his head for a minute and then looked up at him with a smile. Well, that surprised him but he wasn't going to show it.

"I guess I am."

Squall nodded and wrote a small memo on his notepad before glancing back up at Riku. "Any reason for this good mood? Anything happen?"

He watched in interest as Riku's soft smile remained and his gaze went off to the side. "Riku?"

"Do you believe in angels, Dr. Leonheart?"

Squall frowned slightly. He should have known this day wasn't going to be easy; it was Riku. Either it was hostile or word play. Guess today he picked word play. "Well, I guess. If you mean the ones that walk around us and protect us from so called demons and such. Why?"

He honestly thought this was going to lead to another riddling question. But today Riku was full of surprises and looked at him straight in the eyes. "I think Roxas might have been one…"

Squall had to lean back in his chair for that one.

"Roxas? As in your friend that committed suicide?"

Riku nodded. "Also, I'm happy because I think I've finally found my place."

Squall raised an eyebrow. "Your place?….What would that be?"

Riku smiled again. "I'm the fourth horseman."

"Wh-"

"Oh we're out of time. I have to get going; I have lunch today with a few people." Without Squall saying anything Riku picked up his bag and left.

-SsS-

Later that night Squall sat at his computer and scrolled through his mail. He bit his lip for a moment and clicked on his search engine.

"What did he call it…"

He nodded as he typed in Fourth Horseman and clicked on the first link. His eyes narrowed.

'In the Holy Bible, the fourth horseman of Revelation 6 is called Death; he reeps the souls that no longer belong on the earth.'

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A/N: Whoop. Okay. Hope you guys liked it! 


	5. Love is sweet

**A/N:** Ugh! okay. Ladies and Gents. It has been a craptacular holiday, and I killed myself. Luckily! I brought myself back, so i was able to give you all another chpater! here we go more angst and terror!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own ANYTHING, only the plot. -bows- thank you

**Warning:** Same as always...

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_Something was terribly off on the island today._

_He couldn't quite place it. It was a feeling in his stomach that that flipped uncomfortably as he felt a trickle of rain splash on his hand and a few drops onto his head. He watched as the normally beautiful white sand became a dull gray color as it dampen from the soft shower._

_It was also unnervingly quiet._

_Where had all the birds and people gone?_

_Where were Sora and Roxas?_

_He glanced around and saw none of their smiling faces or hustling and bustling to get somewhere. There was…nothing. Only when he started to become alarmed did he hear the soft organ grinder music, but this was different from the other times he had come. The music, it was slow and sad,and it tugged at his heart. _

_He frowned and followed it, and it led him to the same stripped circus tent that had been there before. Only this time they weren't happy clowns running around and laughing with or at the people in the crowd. Oh, sure there were clowns, but they weren't running around and joking. No, they were sitting there playing poker on an old crate a few with lighted cigars in their mouths, and they sure weren't smiling. Instead of their gleeful grins, there were nasty ugly scowls that could frighten any child, maybe even adults. _

As he slowly moved closer, they only gave him a bored glance and went back to their game.

"Come back for more, have we?"

He about jumped at the sound of the gruff voice and the warm stale breath that ghosted across his neck. Riku whirled around to face what could have been his worst nightmare, if he were scared of clowns that is. This man still had his white face make on; blue and black streaked down his cheeks like tears from his eye makeup becoming wet? That was Riku's best guess. His teeth made him sick, in the worst way. The man's teeth were blackened with what looked like a sort of gel, but Riku knew better.

"Come…..come back?" He hadn't meant to stutter, and he cursed himself for it.

He watched as the man snickered and then hacked harshly, muttering about quitting smoking. He watched as those beady pale blue eyes watched him and a smile formed with those cracked and chapped lips. "Yeah…The boss said you would be." He took this moment to scratch his rear end and snort a bit.

Riku had to repress the urge to look away in disgust. "Your boss, eh?"

He had to think for a few moments on that before he tilted his way and tried his best to look superior, which wasn't very hard. He was, after all, a master at it. "Let me guess. That ring leader with the silver hair and the weird mask?" 

_The man let out another harsh laugh and gave Riku a heavy slap on the back, which caused him to stumble forward a bit. "Good for us. You aren't as dumb as you look." _

Riku frowned at that. "Well, gee. Thank you."

"Anytime, friend." 

_How dare he call Riku his friend? He could barely stand the man's smell, let alone be his buddy or anything along those lines. He scowled and tilted his chin upward. "So, why did your boss say I would be back, huh?" He watched as the man pulled a pack of cigarettes out from his pocket and lit up right in front of him. For goodness sake, this was his own god damn happy place. He hated smoking, and they should all know that. _

He waited, quietly seething while the man took a few puffs and exhaled it through his nose. Then when the man tapped his ashes onto the ground, he turned and started to walk towards the tent. Riku blinked for a second, ready to call out to the man and demand what exactly he thought he was doing, but he beat Riku too it. "Well, you coming or what? I ain't got all day, you jackass."

Riku clenched his fist tightly but followed anyway; even though he was angry, it didn't mean he wasn't interested in where this was leading. The man pulled aside the curtain for him and allowed him to walk into the tent first. What Riku saw was not what he had expected. He had thought that he would see a dark dingy circus tent with animal dung all over the floor, and some of the performers running around without their make up on, and he could see just how ugly they really were.

But there was none of that.

It was brightly lit up with the soft glow of candles placed everywhere. If Riku was correct, that could be a major fire hazard. He frowned softly when all he saw inside was a dark cherry wood wardrobe and standing mirror. He frowned even deeper when he saw the stupid little git who had apparently summoned him standing in front of the mirror. He tried to twist his head to see the man's face, but the mask was quickly put up to obscure Riku's view from the mans identity, and the man turned around to face him.

A brilliant smile came onto his face, as if he hadn't realized Riku had been in the room. The smile made him feel as if he were being stalked by a tiger. He gulped and tried to get his face looking annoyed, but he had to shove his hands in his pockets to hide them from shaking. "So, you wanted me?"

The man nodded only slightly, and for a second Riku wondered if he was mute. He waved the ugly clown away from behind him, and Riku was surprised that the gruff man actually went. When they were alone, the masked man moved towards the desk, pulled out a bottle of whiskey and started to pour some into a cup, offering it towards him with a soft smile. "I'm not allowed to drink. It messes with my medic-"

"But you don't have to worry about that here."

He blinked.

The man's voice was oddly soft and calming. "Oh really? What is it magic whiskey?"

"Yes."

Riku had to blink a second time. He was being sarcastic.

He sighed and took the glass, sniffing it a few times before taking a tiny sample sip. "Well….I'll be. It isn't poisoned." He looked up quickly when he heard a sharp laugh come from the masked man's lips. He glared harshly, and the man held up his hand as if to apologize. 

"_No, no. Please do forgive me. I do not mean to laugh at you; just the thought of me poisoning you is just too funny not to laugh!" _

_Riku snorted softly. Well, he guessed the 'oh-so-funny' joke was lost on him because he didn't find anything humors about it. _

He sighed and set the glass down on the desk and glared at the masked man. He hated that mask; it made it so hard to hate someone whose face you can't see. "Look, if you only brought me here to give me whiskey and not poison my drink, then I'm waking up." That only got him a soft smile from the other man. "What?"

"Do you really think you can?"

"What?"

"Wake up."

That alarmed him a bit. Of course he could wake up! This was a dream, and it always had been! He glared daggers, and then as quickly as he could tried to bring himself into consciousness. He was glad when he saw the man in the mask start to fade, and only when the man lunged forward and grasped him by the arms and told him to stop it did he let himself fall back into this stupid ass dream of his.

He smirked and looked smug. "Can't wake up, huh?"

"I was only joking." The man hissed and frowned.

"Yeah? Well it wasn't funny."

After a few seconds of staring him down, did the man suddenly smile and pull away. "Of course. I'm very sorry, sometimes I don't know when to quit. You forgive?" 

_Riku frowned at his suddenly light hearted tone. "Yeah. Whatever." He seemed to take that as a positive answer as he moved over to his wardrobe. Riku frowned when he seemed to be thinking about something and tapped his long fingers against his chin. "Look, if you don't need me. Just let me wake up." _

"Oh, but I do need you."

"Oh yeah? For what? Too imagine you with gayer ass clothing? Well sorry, bud, but you are out of-"

"I know what you did."

Riku froze at that. All of his words suddenly seemed to clog in his throat, and his hand clutched at his chest when his heart beat too fast. The masked man glanced over at him and smirked. "What…thought I wouldn't? Oh come now…That's being a bit dense. Even for you…Riku." The way he said his name made a shudder run down Riku's spine. So soft, loving yet so sinister. Almost like a snake. He tried to smirk, to show this man he wasn't worried, but it turned out badly and he had to look away.

"Aw. Did I say something I shouldn't have said?" He could hear the man's shoes clunk against the floor as he made his way over to him. "But don't worry; I'm sure Roxas feels loads better now that you did that." Riku would have slugged the guy, if he could get his body to move. He heard the man stop behind him, then move his arms around Riku's shoulders and rest his head softly on Riku's shoulder. "Now, we just have to worry about Sora…" At the mention of Sora's name, Riku hissed and glared at the green eyes that belonged to the masked man. He was a little caught off guard by how familiar they looked, but he shook that idea off quickly. "What about Sora?" He said it so harshly that it was a wonder he didn't spit up venom with it.

The man laughed softly and patted Riku's cheek. He wanted to rip that hand off and eat it in front of this guy. "Why…I'm surprised you haven't noticed." He shook his head as if he were actually disappointed in Riku. Almost like a father was of his son. "The way people look at him…His wonderfully innocent blue eyes, his always-smiling face. Others have noticed how perfect he his, not just you." Riku could just hear the grin in the man's words. "And not only women notice…" That made Riku hiss.

"Yes. Terrible, isn't it? He fiddled with a piece of Riku's hair for a few moments. "That is why I have decided to give you my help."

Riku glared at him as he walked back over to his wardrobe. "And what exactly are you going to do?"

Again that annoying laugh was let out. "Oh. Not me." He then turned and grasped the handles of the wardrobe and flung them open. Out tumbled some oddly colored and oddly shaped things. No….wait…were those…

"Children?!"

That's exactly what they were, and when he looked closer, he could see that they were two boys and one girl. One of the boys was dressed in what looked like a dull red jump suit; leave it to the circus to dress a kid. The other boy wore a similar suit, but his was dusty black and had odd white lines painted on it. If Riku looked hard enough, they almost seemed like…bones. The girl was dressed in a simple grey- purple frock, but wore an odd colored pointed hat over her gnarly frizzed black hair. The man smiled fondly as the children pushed and shoved one another, yelling insults at each other in the most annoying little demon like voices Riku had ever heard.

"Yes. Children, the best we have."

At his voice they stood in a line as if in an army. "Right!" They chorused together, making it seem like they had not just been clawing each other's eyes out.

"You have to be kidding me."

"Not at all."

"They are Children, how am I supposed to use mere kids to help Sora?!"

"You'll figure it out."

And just like that.

Everything faded. 

Riku sat up quickly.

Everything was dark, save for the soft glow of his laptop on top of his desk, telling him it was charging. He took a few deep breaths and glanced around the room; he was thankful that his eyes quickly adjusted to the dark because he could see that Sora's form was still under his covers. He sighed softly and wiped the sweat from his brow.

"God, I really need to stop eating before I go to bed." He shook his head and got up to change his shirt. His was soaked with sweat, but what he wasn't expecting was to smell the faint trace of soft perfume on his shirt.

The exact scent that the masked man had been wearing.

sSs

The whole next day he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Even when Sora offered to take a nap with him, he didn't accept.

Sure, he had heard of realistic dreams. But them being realistic even after you have woken up? That never happens; at least he thought it didn't.

Only when Namine pulled his hood up over his head did he snap out of his thoughts long enough to hold up a conversation. "Namine!"

"Yes! Me!"

He frowned when she laughed at her own joke. "You're a riot." He muttered sarcastically and shoved a roll into his mouth; he wasn't even hungry but Kairi had told him he needed to eat. Those pretty pale pink lips smiled softly as she sat down in front of him. "I try. I try." She watched him chew for a few seconds before she pulled out her sketch pad. "Can I show you something, Ri?" He frowned, and shrugged.

"Sure." Her drawings always did seem to make him feel better. He let a tiny smile form when he saw her grin excitedly and flip through the pages quickly. "Ah, here we go." She giggled when she handed it to him, and he raised an eyebrow at her as he took it. "Is it that good?" He didn't even wait for her response as he looked down.

He almost dropped the sketch pad. "Oh my god…Namine. This….this is amazing."

And it truly was.

There, in soft shades of yellow and white, was the most beautiful angel he had ever seen. His hands were clasped tightly to his chest and his head bowed slightly, as if to beg for something and be respectful about it. His hair flew out behind him and because of the lighting and shading, you couldn't tell if it was golden or white. But the wings…the wings were what took Riku's breath away. They were spread out widely, exposed to everyone. Almost every feather was detailed to such an extent that it made him breathless.

"R-Really…? You like it?"

"Like it? Namine! I love it! It's beautiful!"

He watched her smile, and her cheeks tinged red a bit. "That's good."

He smiled and handed it back to her, but was surprised when she didn't except it. Instead, she tore it from her book and gave it back to him. "What…? Namine, you could enter this in the art contest and get money for this baby! Why are you giving it to me?" He watched her bow her head, and if he hadn't been straining his ears, he wouldn't have heard what she said, she was talking so quietly.

"Because you're the one that inspired it…" She gulped and looked up at him, her cheeks a full blown red now.

Riku blinked for a few seconds, "I inspi…" Why was she blushing? Was it hot in here for her? Was she not feeling well? He blinked suddenly; wait…this…this was how Kairi first acted around Sora. When that idea clicked in his mind, he felt his face heating up just as much as his friend across from him.

"Ummm….Namine…?"

"Er…yes?"

How do you do this…? He…well he had never had a girlfriend or boyfriend in his life.  
"Ermm…..do you….like me?"

Smooth there.

Her blue eyes widened so big that Riku was scared she might strain something. She started looking around the cafeteria as if something in there would help her answer. "Well….you see, I…Riku….I…" Riku frowned and took her hand, "Namine…." When he uttered her name, it seemed as if she started to deflate. Her shoulders dropped and she sighed. He waited for two or three minutes, but still she said nothing. "I'm sorry, Nam. I was stupid to think-"

"No!" She suddenly looked up at him with those eyes, with such earnesty and determination in them that he almost fell backwards. She bit her lip for a few seconds, and Riku glanced around a bit. "Erm…well…What-" Again he was cut off; he seemed to be getting that a lot. But this time, he was cut off not by words, but by a pair of petal soft lips. After what seemed like forever she pulled away, and looked up at him. "Yes. Yes, Riku. I like you."

He must have stood there looking like an idiot because he watched her gulp "Please say something…"

Say something….? Uhh…like what?

The kiss wasn't bad. It actually felt good, and he did like Namine. He didn't know if he liked her like that, but…it was something. But what about Sora…?

What about Sora? He had Kairi.

When he blinked back into reality, he felt bad because she looked like she might die or live on his answer and he had kept her waiting. "I…"

She quickly looked down. "I'm sorry. That was rash! I shouldn't have thought- Argh! So stupid!"

He smiled. "I like you too."

"What?!" She looked up quickly, and he had to laugh at her expression. She was cute when she was shocked. He had to remember that. "I said I liked you."

When she just stood there for awhile with disbelief written all over her face, he snickered. "Well, are you going to come here and kiss your boyfriend or what?" He hoped he wasn't wrong by thinking they were boyfriend and girlfriend, but she cleared that up quickly when she moved to his side. Her grin was contagious, and he laughed when she threw her arms around his neck. He smiled and leaned down to kiss her.

And he didn't give a damn who was watching.

SsS

He called Sora up to tell him the news, Sora couldn't stop screaming in his ear about how great that was.

He insisted that they party hard tonight since they now both had girls.

Riku laughed and agreed. They bought a six pack of Mt. Dew and watched cartoons all night.

Finally Sora had to quit and go to bed, and Riku agreed. And as he laid in bed, he couldn't stop the smile that came to his lips when he pictured Namine. He would get to see her tomorrow; that was good.

With that, he smiled and closed his eyes.

Things were all right.

_You are so sure…how cute… _

His eyes snapped open. "Sora…did you say something?" 

All he received was soft snores from his roommate. He frowned slightly and suppressed a shudder.

That voice…it sounded like…

_You are correct…come let's talk over tea. The Island as usual…_

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_A/N:_ -dies now- RxR! -dies again-


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